The LGBTQ+ movement in Nepal is over twenty years old and much of the people who led the movement in early 2000âs are now approaching their middle-ages, yet it seems much work remains to understand the ageing queer population and their needs.
The WOW Festival, Women of the World, was back this year taking place right here in Kathmandu. I had the honor of moderating a session titled âHow Queer is Your Loveâ where I spoke to Kanchi Maya Tamang, Sukmaya Magar and Sarswoti Pun Magar, all women above the age of fifty. Our hour-long session saw the queer Nepali elders talk about their lives, shared experiences revolving around love and ageing.
As I embrace my thirties, I am often reminded by many about how I am getting older. Letâs also add, that I am very much single. Much of the conversation and focus of the Queer movement centers around education, health and mainly younger people. Weâre forgetting to prepare society on how best to support queer elders.
Ageism is rife across different groups and much more for queer women. It is very much felt within the queer community. Sarswoti didi highlighted repeatedly about the challenges to obtain a citizenship certificate as a queer woman. That set her back when it came to employment and not being able to earn means not having financial security for the present as well as the future.
All the ladies on the panel highlighted the importance of financial security for the later years and future planning. As I sat there, knowing I am in a comfortable position than most, I knew that future planning and financial security is something that we all should prioritise and keep as an exercise to repeat every so often.
Having a family of your own, a partner for life and children to do your funeral rites is so heavily emphasized in our society. As the didiâs mentioned about being alone, I had to matter-of-fact ask them who they think will be the ones at their funeral one-day. It sounds insensitive but then again, isnât much of how we talk in the Nepali language that way? A lot of us may be single for life or even when partnered, we may choose to not have children or simply cannot. So, these are very real questions.
I would never make a good subject on panels such as these because I frankly donât care who comes to my funeral, because I am dead. But I realise a lot of people struggle to sleep wondering about death⦠thereâs a lot of socio-cultural-religion attached to this.
Coming back to the topic, it is important that we prepare healthcare systems and professionals to be queer friendly as they reach their elder years. Queer elders may benefit from support groups, and this is something organisations working for this population may already be thinking about. Finance remains a huge issue, and it seems weâre already running out of time on working for solutions on this matter.
For the Gen-Zâs and Millennialsâ who maybe growing up with more opportunities, whether it be finances, work or support systems; itâs important that we plan, look after all aspects of ourselves from our mental, physical as well as financials.
FROM LEFT â Kanchi Maya Tamang, Sworsati Pun Magar, Sukmaya Magar
Kanchi Maya Tamang, 57 â from the gender and sexual minority community resides in Hetauda, Makwanpur. As physical labor becomes harder with age, she sustains her livelihood by weaving. LGBTIQ+ elders like her face ageism, workplace harassment, and wage discrimination, often overlooked by the movement that advocates for their rights. Kanchi Maya urges activists to recognize and support older community members, calling for age-friendly employment and a strong support system, especially as many lack familial ties.
Sworsati Pun Magar faced many challenges growing up without formal education or family support after her motherâs passing. For years, she struggled to obtain citizenship. She had to resign from working at Sudur Paschim Samaj due to the lack of citizenship. After a five-year struggle, she successfully received her citizenship in 2079. Currently, she works at Respect Home, though her position ends in December 2024.
Sukmaya Magar, 53, is a lesbian woman from Devghat, Tanahun. She met her partner, Samjhana Guurng, while working in the textile industry; they fell in love, got married and shared over three decades of their lives together. Despite social acceptance, Sukmaya now faces challenges alone after Samjhanaâs passing. Due to Nepalâs lack of legal recognition for same-sex marriages, Sukmaya is denied certain benefits available to single and widowed women. Nevertheless, she remains hopeful, determined to find economic support and live with dignity.
Thank you to The Open Institute for Social Science for putting together this panel and the British Council for organising WOW Festival.
